Techno-Buddha by Nam June PaikThis blog gives a fascinating Buddhist perspective on loneliness and romance. You may not agree with the Urban Monk’s conclusions but his argument gives a different perspective on loneliness (at least the existential variety) and romance (as an addiction).

To put the title in Buddhist parlance, suffering is the beginning of attachment.

“When we are in the depths of our loneliness, what comforts us – what could possibly take us away from it? What, indeed? So often, it feels like there is no solace; like we are running from our own shadow. And it is true, in a way. There is no escape from being alone. We are always alone. But there is a way out of loneliness.

All our efforts at escaping loneliness are fundamentally flawed, for we don’t understand the nature of what we are running from. There is something beautiful about your loneliness. And when you see that, when you acknowledge it, learn to delight in it, that’s when something shifts inside you. When your loneliness becomes aloneness – that is freedom! That is when you can truly begin to Love!

As Osho once said – the first thing is to acknowledge aloneness. Aloneness is our true nature; we can never, ever, not be alone. We come into this world alone, we leave the world alone. And in between these two, we are alone – but we frantically hide from it, run from it, pretend it isn’t true.

Romance is perhaps the most common cover-up for the sense of fragmentation. If we are lonely, it must make sense that we need a special someone! Logical and cold, like a business transaction. A boyfriend, a girlfriend, a lover, someone, anyone! We have reduced them to a mere cover up for our sorrows – no different from the misuse of alcohol, the noise of our television, or killing time on the phone until we can next be with someone – as if we have so much time to kill!

If romance and sex, if money and fame and recognition offer no relief, what does one do? When you are in the throes of heartache and loneliness, what good are the teachings on oneness and inter-existence? Unless you can experience what they are pointing to – how do they comfort you?

A sham. That’s what the entire game of romance is. Who is our “romance” really about? Us, and us alone. We say – I love you. But what we really mean is – Please love me. Manipulation is all it is.

“You were supposed to make me happy!” you cry. And the sweetness, the smiles and the kisses begin to swing the other way. We become sad; we attack them for not making us happy; we manipulate them into giving us more. Maybe they give in, and the pendulum swings back into sweetness. Maybe they don’t, and we break up in tears and anger. This even seems normal.

But it is not their fault. No one can take away our primordial sense of separation except us. But we don’t know that, and so we go on complaining and pulling strings. We forget that the only way to be satisfied is to be satisfied in yourself.”

For the full article go to:

Sculpture by Nam June Paik 


“About me” section of a lonely Japanese man’s daily e-diary.


Thanks for clicking “about me”. You may leave in a few second, but in this moment, you have just found me out from the vast space in the World Wide Web. Though I am not sure whether you are interested in me or just mistakenly clicked “about me”, I am happy that you come here, because I am a quite isolated, lonely guy so it’s like I do not exist in this world for main stream people. Now I am going to write about me; but I am sorry, it is no good to expose personal information that identify who I am on the World Wide Web, so following will be 70% truth and 30% lie.

I was born in the late 60’s. My birthplace is in rural area in Japan. Some of you may believe that Japan is in Southeast Asia, but it’s not true, It is located in northeast Asia. People in developed area of Japan like Tokyo often look down the area where I was born. I don’t like that, but actually where I was raised up should be said to be a rural area, for example, there was no book store in my town, there were a few TV channels, and you had to wait two hours if you miss a train.
So when I was a child, I could not get things so much that should be easy to get if I were lived in Tokyo. I didn’t study much but liked reading, though it is hard to get a new book. And I liked to listen to radio. This habit is still going on, I always turn on my radio when I am in my small apartment. When I was junior high and high school student, I listened to Japanese program from foreign countries by a shortwave radio. Thanks to the internet, people nowadays cannot believe how difficult to get information from other countries, but at that time, so many people used shortwave radio to get what is going on in other countries. In addition that was still in the cold war era. I know it would be an exaggeration, but I had got to know that international affair was severe more than what ordinary Japanese citizens think.
And music is an important part of my life. Since I listened to shortwave radio so much, I liked US and UK pop charts far more than Japanese hit songs. When I was a junior high, I listened to Beatles’ songs in addition to popular songs at that time. Then when I was a high school student, my favorite music genre turned to be classical, especially piano music. I like Bach, Lists, and so on. Since I have got a job, I became too busy to listen classical music that are long time wise, I got back again to US popular songs like Carole King and James Taylor. It was mid 90’s and music scene was already occupied by electric rhythm machine sounds, but I loved old 70’s sounds on weekend between hard working of weekday.
And there is one more thing that is important to me, it is English. You may feel uncomfortable for my poor English. English is not my mother tongue. I have tried to learn English but I know I will never be able to learn it. I listened to Car Talk and A Prairie Home Companion every weekend, but I cannot understand why they burst into laugh when someone tells a joke. I know it will never change until I die, but I will keep on trying to learn English. I am not sure why I am doing so, but basically it is fun and it makes me feel something new.
Now I am a hard working guy who over works 120 hours plus regular hours. I hate my job, but it is the only way to make money. Someday I will be free from this modern slavery. Writing this blog doesn’t help me quit hardships, but does ease my stress. I think no one reaches this last sentence, but if it were, thanks so much.

Goodbye, see you tomorrow.



From Widow’s Quest

by Anna on November 26th, 2007

I have found such solace on the web and found so many people who have helped me through the dark days. Here are 5 tools that I have used as a way of beating loneliness

  1. Blogging:- I love my blog, I love the fact that I can share my feelings and that in some small way I can reach out to others, hopefully helping them through the bereavement process.
  2. Twitter:- This is a really great way of seeing what other people are doing and also sharing tips with each other. It is what they call microblogging…which is a posh term for writing no more than 140 characters each time. So they are quick snippets….
  3. Facebook:- This is a social networking tool which allows you to find friends, join groups, message people….and have a little fun on line. I have connected again with friends that I had lost touch with, which has been fantastic.
  4. Podcasting:- I produce a podcast on business twice a week but I also produce a podcast with someone that I met online and this is about us losing weight – we have lost over 70lbs in weight…I would not have achieved my part without weighing in each week on line.
  5. Google Reader:- This allows me to subscribe to blogs that are of interest to me and allows me to learn about new areas. When people post something new then I get it automatically….it makes me feel connected.

One of the joys of the world we live in is that we can have friends all over the world…that we can join communities that interest us, that we never need to feel alone……(of course we both know we still do!)